Yes it’s true, and I hate to admit it.
I am one of those people who loves their birthday and will tell you about it weeks before it comes.
I have always gotten my hopes up, and I just can’t help it. I don’t know what I expect will happen, I just get really excited and want confetti and balloons and friends and fun.
This year, however, will most likely be the weirdest and least exciting one so far and I’m trying to figure out how I can still enjoy myself.
My birthday is always on memorial day weekend, and this year it actually falls on Memorial Day. And while usually that is fantastic because everyone has it off- this year I don’t… summerstock theater doesn’t play by federal holiday rules unfortunately.
So I’ll be working. I was able to get the Saturday before it off, so I will atleast have the weekend to go camping with my family, and I am so excited and grateful to be able to do that.
It’s still just the day of my birthday that I am nervous about. I have to work all day, and while that would normally not be a problem- it’s the summer- so all of my friends are away doing other work…
So what I’m afraid of is that I will work all day, and then come home, by myself, and do nothing for my actual birthday.
That seems so depressing.
I’m trying to find things to do after work. I might treat myself to a movie or something. Just do something for myself… it just isn’t the same.
I’ve always done something for my birthday. Went camping with the family, or had a bbq with friends, or had a significant other to take me out. This year, I will have no one around me.
And I know, it’s just a day. I’ll get to celebrate on the weekend. And while rationally that makes sense, I’m not going to be able to get over that for my 29th birthday, “my last year of youth”, I will kind of be alone all day with no plans or anything remotely special.
It’s selfish. It’s irrational. It’s petty.
And it’s how I’ve always been. Birthdays have always been a big deal- mine, my families and friends- I love celebrating them!
I’m just bummed out a bit right now…. atleast I have this weekend to look forward to.